First world problems

 Shibathewanderer said: Hungry! Tired and seem to be getting a cough #facepalm                                 

I'm not saying that the fact that you got wet to work isn't important or that your email in tray isn't full of worrying things or that the fact you may have to wait for five minutes for your Saturday brunch isn't a tragedy. 

I'm not saying that.

and yes i think $9 for a lunch from a food hall is too much to spend and that the fact you have to clean on the weekend is annoying and what! and your sports team will lose on the weekend. and, and ! you haven't had holidays in seven months!  That's a tragedy

That is a tragedy.

Like this

So its time for the Captain Angry Ranty Pants challenge. Pick an amount of money that you don't blink at having or not having be it $2 or $5 or $10. I picked $5

Then count your last 50 Twitter updates and every time you complain about a first world problem you donate that amount to your East African charity of choice. Or you can use UNICEF (Someone can keep me honest and count mine and comment and I will donate that amount.)

Or of course you don't have to it. 

Pretend its someone else problem, or thats it always happens so why should you donate now or that you don't have the money right now. Whatever you need to justify doing nothing. But know sometime over the weekend these facts will come back to you and it will pop into your head with the question "Just how much money did I waste this weekend on middle class nothings"

In addition to lack of food and water, malnourished children are even more susceptible to potential deadly diseases such as measles, malaria, diarrhoea and pneumonia. And with one of the lowest immunisation rates in the world, malaria and measles epidemics are expected when the rains come in October.UNICEF is urgently working to scale up measles vaccination to 2.5 million children in Somalia, as well as immunising children against polio, measles and worms in Kenya and Ethiopia. UNICEF is also expanding the provision of safe water and sanitation by drilling boreholes, trucking in water tankers and providing vouchers to be exchanged for waterMany of the 800,000 children who are currently displaced due to the drought and conflict are without family. These children are highly vulnerable to exploitation and abuse as campaigns to recruit children, including girls, into armed forces continue.

$10 vaccinates 50 children against measles.
$40 provides a months worth of special therapeutic food used to treat malnourished children.

Advertising

You may have noticed this blog has advertising. Why you may ask?

I have a somewhat small readership which occasionally flares into double figures and I thought wouldn't it be good to generate a little extra $ through the site! For me? No. i am okay in the money side of things

Instead I am raising money for the Australian Orang Utan Project Yes every last cent (and lets face it will be cents) I am sending (plus I am matching it $ for $)

Why? Because I like Orangs and lets face it if the apes do take over I want to be in the inside running to survive in some sort of menial role to our new simian overlords

and anyway Orangs are nice. Except for the guy from the ING adverts who is creepy

So there you go.

and what can you do? well click! clickety click click click clicksville. When you've read a post have a click cause that means the advertisers pay and the Orangs make some money.

Feb Fasting

The Captain is doing Feb fast and trying to raise some shekels for some worthy community groups. This is the only time I will use my twitter and blog for fund-raising  this year. I may do it something again next year or I may not. Heck I may join the French foreign legions burlesque squad and move to Tunisia. Who knows? It's a funny old world

Anyway, while I am happy to not be drinking (possibly a lie) and look forward to a month without a sneaky beer (Most undoubtedly a lie) I am a little worried that I will end the month with out any donations.

Which brings us to you. Hi!

Why not "buy the Captain a drink"? Yes instead of buying me a real drink, which lets face it probably won't happen as

a) I am angry and not often the best company
b) I am not allowed in a lot of pubs due to the infamous gorilla suit with flippers incident of 2006
c) I am an anonymous construct character

Instead buy me a virtual drink in the way of donation!

If everyone who reads my blog or followed me on twitter "bought me a Sneaky beer" I will make a good return for these charities. It's not much for you but the might of the Captains army will make a sizable return. (Sorry for drafting you in the army but I am a Captain so it seemed appropriate.)

Go here   Come on $5 is enough. ( Or $10 if you are buying me a shmancey drink. ) When you donate tell me what drink it is.

So if you have ever read my blog and thought I'd like to buy this chap a beer, ( or even a bear if you a) can't spell or b) like the idea of me sitting awkwardly with a Kodiak bear watching the news)  now is the time to donate that money to Feb Fast. 

go on...why not. It's here in case you missed the link earlier

and in closing, a photo of a walrus. No reason

National DeLurking Day

It's National De-Lurking Day! (1)

The one day a year where passive readers (aka "lurkers") come out of hiding, see their shadows, and leave a message to say...something. In fact anything 

"Hi, I like your blog?"

"Hi, I really like your blog?"

"why the big dogs and little dogs?."

"Why are you angry?"

It doesn't have to be anything poetic, or even deep. I mean, I'd prefer if it was vaguely complimentary, low in potty words and didn't reference the works of Darryl Summers, but hey its all up to you.

Come on delurk yourselves!

To inspire I have done a quick delurk. Heres me! Hi!

(1) or in America as I have just found out about it but lets pretend it still today. Heck it can be tomorrow as well

Things that haven't annoyed me so much this year

Hello

Here's a round up of the blogs I love to read and have made me a little less bile fueled in 2010.  Its not complete or conclusive and is in no particular order more wirtten as they popped into my last day of 2010 head.

The Levant and her Neighbors.  In the world of seemingly never ending travel blogs it easy to get a bit blaise and through that not discover the gems. Like this one ( I was lucky enough to read it as it unfolded.) She is now writing this excellent blog 

Vote 1 Love - A  blog by uber talented cartoonist Michelle Baggas Baginski presenting cartoons reacting to political issues. Go here to be charmed

  

I Can Pretend to Care Got a problem with life? Need a questions answered, then let Lou Sanz help you at her hilarious help column here. Informative, funny, caring.... what more could you want? (Cheese on toast arguably but let's not split hairs) Her blog is here 

Ginger and Honey Writer Steph Convery was a lucky bitch and traveled across the top of the country this year and wrote some of the most beautiful prose about the trip and her reactions to it on her blog

Clem Bastow Clem is like a never ending stream of pop culture gold. Read her blog follow her on twitter and of courser follow Stoned Cats

“Am I a wizard or a traffic cone? Just think about it for a while, man.”

Unwakeable. Consistently excellent and consistently inspiring Lisa Dempsters blog covers her literary, bike riding and Vegan foodie life with lots in between. I am also jealous of her job (but that's another story)

H. Anthony Hildebrand Possibly the cleverest and funniest person I know. Follow him on twitter

Angry Travel Girl and her world of rants about working in travel industry. I do love a good rant

If Charlie Parker Was a Gunslinger, There'd Be a Whole Lot of Dead Copycats Aside from being the winner for longest title this blog provides a steady stream of new photos of famous (and not so famous people) from yesteryear

John Lennon, Anne Murray, Harry Nilsson, Alice Cooper and Mickey Dolenz whoop it up at the Troubadour. 

Bored Olives An email love story As explained on the site

As I was putting together a computer from second hand parts, I found the old hard drive hadn't been erased. This included the previous owners emails. I felt conflicted about reading them. But this passed quickly. To my delight I discovered a correspondence between two people dating back to 1999. They were truthful, touching and a little funny. I became addicted and felt compelled to share it. Unedited.

and to finish the favorite of my posted photos of the year

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com

 

This is your Captain speaking

As you read this I will be en-route to my holiday, looking forward to a few weeks of bagels, pickles, martinis, cool shops, people watching, shopping, museums, art galleries, and generally enjoying the city that never sleeps (1)

While away I won't be blogging.  

No my 11 readers cry thinking to themselves thank god we can get some peace and have some time to work out which dog is which.

For those among you who like to read my drivel i have arranged a holiday limited edition series Postcards from somewhen else a series of articles and posts about travel (somewhat unsurprisingly) Some are old, one even dating back to my long forgotten student days and some are brand spanking new.

Anyhoo, one will appear pretty much every couple day due to the wonder of schedule blog posts

Those who just like ranting, anger and grumpiness maybe come back at the end of the month

Regards

Captain AR Pants esq




(1) Yes i am going to Townsville

John Lennon

There are so many, many reasons that I admire John Lennon and his death saddened me so much at the time (and of course still does)

Rather than list them I turn to my favorite quote, which I will misquote and mangle here. This quote is almost a mantra to me as an artist and as a person. (Maybe even an excuse for my lack of technical skill or specialization in anything)

When asked who was the best guitarist in the Beatles he replied that he wasn't the best technically but he could make it do some things, then finished with the pearler

I can't play the Tuba but if i picked one up I'd make an interesting noise

Let us all hope that we continue to aspire to make interesting noises in everything we do

This is your Captain speaking

Hello to my 9 regular readers (1)

I wrote this insightful first posting in April 2007 when I started my Rants. Why Captain Angry Ranty Pants? Not for reasons of protecting my identity ,although it came that later, I just thought any name with Captain and pants in was funny.

Life was different then, unsurprisingly, I was freelancing my backside off and thought blogging might be a useful exercise to keep me focused. I eked out 8 until July at which time I took up a position working with, or more appropriately for, writers. Which surprisingly was a blog killer. Why? A combination of time and constantly being surrounded by amazing writers. Between then and the end of that job I did a few more posts. 9 in all. Bit crap really, both in output and quality. Heck one is a reprint of an earlier one.

In this period of blog silence I discovered Twitter (thank you Grumpy Girrl) but mainly tweeted for work. Although I did sneak out a couple of character accounts who amused me 140 characters at a time (and still do)

In May this year I started blogging again, inspired by the people I'd worked with at my previous job as well as a response to the fact that the job moved on without me and a way to deal with my feelings of that. Also it was partially to kick start my long dormant writing (which may be more dead than dormant) and provide a creative side to my present job.

It's grown from laboriously written pieces of what I misguidedly thought was anger which I hoped had a point to stream of consciousness rants, some absolute outpouring of anger and a hefty slice of surrealism ( plus lots more dogs than I would have suspected). I discovered guest posts with each guest poster writing articles I could only dream off and I have amused myself with restaurant reviews ( And no I have never been paid/ or got a free meal from the restaurants. Bless the person who asked me if I did)

I started this post to ask you, the brave reading few, what you liked, what you wanted and what I could do more of and while I do care about your answers, I have realised writing this, like writing the blog itself, can be enough. That asking the question is in it self an answer.That while you can look at stats, wait for comments and hope for feedback sometimes it's the doing that matters.

Hey. Thanks for reading

Regards

Captain AR Pants esq

PS Don't fear, back to ranting from next post





1. arguably most of which could be me looking at my site in admiration of my Post labels, which I do so love