Let me understand this

Scene; Corporate Meeting room of financial institution

A strategy meeting

Enter: Advertising maestro

Advertising Maestro; So I've got it. We need to show that we are trustworthy, reliable, unlike the other banks and a little bit hip. Lets make our spokesperson an Orang Utan!!!!!!!!!!!!

An Orang Utan

Whatthemotherfrackinghellwheretheysmokinginthatadverttsingmeeting

What is it about an Orang Utan that suggests banking? What? Nothing. Why would I want to give my money to a bank which uses an Orang utan as its spokesperson. And not just any old orang utan but a smug, zen like pompous English Orang called Charles. Charles!

What is it that suggests trustworthy about Charles?  Reliable? Should we marvel at the fact that because he has discovered speech and how to use an mac-book pro that we should believe him. Really? He's still nude. I am sorry ! do not take financial advice from anyone whose evolutionary trail hasn't led to clothing

And whats more haven't they seen Planet of the Apes! I am fairly sure this is how it started and I don't want to be half naked running across a post apocalyptic wasteland being chased by a sanctimonious vaguely English advertising spokes-animal like Charles

Now I love Orangs as everyone knows (well you didn't but you do now) and I celebrate their arboreal nature and admire the fact one pissed on my ex girlfriend when I was trekking through the wilds of Sumatra. (yeah you heard me wild of Sumatra, take that Bear Grylls and shove it in your urine covered hat) So Orangs are okay with me. Right on Orangs! Orangs in positions of financial authority. No

and diverging just a moment.

Dear Mr Sam Neill

Re your meat television advert with whatshisface the Orang Utan

ORANGS DON'T EAT MEAT SO HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT THE BENEFITS THAT MEAT HAS ON THE BRAINS AND LETS BE FRANK ABOUT THIS, YOUR NEED TO CREATE A SOCIETY OF MEAT EATERS IS WHAT IS PUSHING THE ORANGS OUT OF THE RAIN FORREST AND INTO DODGY CAREERS IN THE ADVERTISING INDUSTRY

whoops. shouted. Back to you ING

Okay I do realise the brilliant reason Charles the primate prat is the spokesperson is because he is orange.  (yes i know everything in his room is Orange. But if he is such an advanced being why would he choose to live in a house with the color scheme of an early 80s fast food outlet?)

Yes. Orange. (which incidentally is the color that makes people leave quickly. Maybe not the sort of reaction you want from long term investors)

So ING have picked their corporate symbol on its color. Brilliant.

With that understanding let us look forward to meeting

Perkins the Sanctimonious Orange songbird in charging of tweeting

Steven the Parrot in charge of Investment strategy

Violet the Starfish in charge of listening to customer complaints

 

and of course the Managing Director of ING

 

and to finish, a sombre thought

We share 97% of the Orang-utan’s DNA, but we have destroyed 80% of their habitat. In just five years time there will be no Orang-utans living in the rainforests of Borneo, because there will be no rainforests. Today the continued expansion of oil-palm plantations is the greatest threat to the orang-utan. If action is not taken immediately, we will have to explain to future generations that we knowingly sentenced the species to extinction. 

  I am a member of the Australia Orang Utan Project as well as sponsoring two Orangs. (see I really do like them). Costs me $15 a month. Could cots you as little as $5

I wonder if ING Direct are donating any money to their corporate symbol or like many advertisers using animals, blithely using their intellectual property with no return to the animals making them money.