Tell me why

Can you tell me Mr Taxi Driver why...

1. you have a GPS and still get lost?
2. every trip to or from the airport has mystery costs?
3. you have GPS and you don't use it?
4. you try and tip yourself by rounding up?
5. you have a GPS but I still have to direct you?
6. you don't listen to those directions?
7. despite my destination being on the way to your home you won't pick me up if I am last ride of the day?
8. you insist on taking a phone call and talking loudly?
9. you smell a little on the, how can I put it, funky side?
10. your eftpos never seems to work when I want to use a card?
11. you stop where ever you want regardless of traffic or road rules?
12. you insist on chatting with me when I clearly have nothing to say to you?
13. the road rules do not apply to you?

PS the taxi driver on Tuesday who didn't know where Elizabeth st, Sydney was. I will be tipping every taxi I catch for the next month who does know as a protest to your dimness.

PPS Don't be so shit

Tell me why?

Can you please tell me why people go up (or down) the wrong way on escalators?

1. is it because it is there?
2. is it because their life has so little adventure that they chose this as its pinnacle?
3. shouldn't they go out more or collect something?
4. is it a rebellion to the structured order of the shopping center?
5. is it really that much fun?
6. can you put it on your resume?
7. has it moved us forward either culturally, socially or intellectually?
8. does it get anyone laid?
9. did Karen Luton mean me no harm when she bit me in grade 5? 
   
10. is there a secret sect of those who escalator run that meet on quasi-regular occasions and brag about the time they ran up the Prague Underground?
11. do they keep minutes at these meetings? 
12. are the meetings catered and does any of the catered food not come from Subway?
13. will it replace Parkour in the list of ridiculous sports?
14. or is it really the coming out ceremony for the newly anointed dickhead?