There is nothing greater than finding a little shop with cool knicks equally cool knacks, good clothes and general quirkiness. You know the one, the place you wander into while having a shopping stroll and you are immediately struck by it, with its cool sound track of hipness playing over its tastefully trendy speakers
You got from area to area of the store discovering more to more while your wallet heats up in your pocket and your credit card girds its loins for another brutal beating.
And as you pick up a particular item of want you look over and see the shop assistant sneering at you
Because they are soooooooooooooooooo cool because they work there and lets face it life would be better if they didn't have customers so why don't we all go somewhere else and don't you knwo this shop is way tooooo cooool for you.
ATTHEENDOFTHEDAYYOUAREASHOPASSISTANT!IPAYYOURWAGESYOUMINIMUMWAGEMONKEYANDWITHOUTMEYOUWOULDBEOUTTHERELOOKING HIPWITHNOMONEYTOSPENDONYOURCLOTHINGACCESSORIESANDTRYINGSOHARDTORUNWITHTHERESTOFTHEHIPSTERFLOCKOFTRYHARDSHEEP
Of course this phenomenon is not reserved to shops alone, the worst offenders are bar people who obviously have the best time in the world at their bar and we are all just lucky they let us visit. Waiters too at cool cafes are similar (uhm you do know you are just serving food?)
Whats the best way to combat this>? (aside form the usual pummel them with chair legs)
I like to employ the overwhelm them with the give "them what they expect" strategy. Obviously they think you are not worthy and beneath them so i like to prove them right with an unending list of questions/ conversation and geenral over the top friendliness
Some key pointers
- Introduce yourself
- If they have name tag use it every sentence
- Don't start with the really obvious questions save them to the last
- Call the shop by its wrong name. Twice
- Be over familiar
- Have a small interchange to begin with then go back again. they'll be delighted to see you again.
- Repeat some questions.
- Apologize profusely repeatedly, they will just hate you more for it
- Ask for discounts
- Don't actually buy anything. (of course) Or if you do have the wrong currency
- Ask for the shops number so you can call them later
