An Open Letter

Dear People who were sitting in front of me between LAX and Brisvegas

Thank you. It was so fun listening to your inspiring discourse on the merits of Ford vs Holden (although I am unsure how you compare a past president with a former actor but your ways are beyond me), your fun conversations about the building trade in Brisbane and special thanks for playing the entirety of Dire Straits seminal "Brothers in Arms at full volume through your mini speakers for all of us to enjoy as we greeted the dawn at 4:35am (EST)

How lucky we all were when you found each other seated so close together as we boarded, you with your shouted greetings and so witty repartee on the value of Tomato Sauce for an airplane breakfast and how joyous that the person next to the couple let the third one sit with them and of course whose the luckiest? Me! I was right behind you for every nuanced syllable of your twelve hours of chat and rhythmic chair reclinings.


Who knew that the main thing wrong with America is that it doesn't have sausages? I knew it had some issues but never saw in such clarity this being the main problem. May I suggest you contact someone and tell them, maybe their head guy, Obama, he's like the leader, sort of like the coach of the Maroons to put it in a context you may understand.

That there is no DFO and hence their shopping is bad and never cheap. I was upset to think i had ripped off every shop I had been in and am contacting them asap (1) and paying them the difference. I feel so bad for ripping them off and obviously I don't have any taste

And good on you for taking as much as you can off the flight, isn't great to take all the tissues from the toilet and all that food with you. And hurrah for Bundy for breakfast, although not strictly breakfast if you haven't slept

and thanks for making the flight so fun with your calling peoples seats from the in flight phone. You funny funny funny japesters.

Thanks again and please send me all your travel details so i can make sure I can travel with you, maybe even for yourwhole ten days next time,as we all knowe clearly now your thoughts on why ten days overseas is more than enough

Yours in love and admiration

Captain AR Pants esq

PS Why wasn't I as wise as you when I was 18? sigh 

PPS arsehats

(1) That's 'as soon as possible' in an abbreviation is when you shorten some words so you don't have to type as much


Typing_Monkey said...

I'm firmly of the belief that airlines should open up what formerly used to be the smoking section of planes as a CUBS only section.

Cashed Up Bogans need their place as much as anyone else, as long it's away from me.

Smellyemi said...

Surprised they served Bundy on the plane... surely thats the fuel to get to your destination? I would ask for more money off. x