Virtual Friends

One day i will sit little Johnny Ranty Pants on my knee and say

" Johnny once upon a time people talked to each other. Yes they really talked to each other. People conversed. On the phone or in person. People would 'catch up' and interact. Stories, and conversations, debates and lively dialogue. Some people even read to each other at dinner parties. Things were different then"

and little Johnny will look into his old fathers eye and say

Who the hell are you freakboy. I need to log back on"

and he will drag his muscle wasted frame away and hook himself back into the world of his nearest and dearest....online

What the f**k has happened. It now seems we can't have friends we have to have 'friends'. Online buddies, and of course the more you have the better you are. We can sit at out computer and log-on with all our buddies, send them updates on our miserable existences, write them blogs, show them photos of yet another boring event we went to and never have to see their face again. Obviously it's neater never having to see friends and deal with them for a distance but is it so bad to sit and talk with someone? And yes i know phones aren't for talking they are for text messaging

and don't start me on the different types..myspace versus facebook. One a C grade celebrity hangout full of pervs, pornstars, unsigned crap musicians and peoples pets (pets! how the f**k are they typing people, tell me that. and if they are putting their own entries on shouldn't we all be scared. The world will be grim when we are ruled by Pomeranian's) versus a never ending photo gallery of ex college students waiting for their glory days to return (glory days of their first beer, seeing their first girl and the library never closing) Okay fight it out people, slap fight!

and people in second life..you may have weird heads, wings, be a funky new colour and making money from the fools buying real estate but you are still the same people who can accurately say how many hours it takes to watch all of the Star Trek, have an overcoat from your Sculley phase and start conversations about books, films, TV with the phrase "i don't want to spoil it but...."

When the revolution is downloaded you will all be against the wall!