When a visit there, you in your pajamas, Mum and Dad with their cask of Moselle under the arm was the great meal out (1) Oh the wonders, the choices, the food. It was like traveling around the world without leaving the suburb
Can i help you what do you want?
What happened? Now they are all the same. One big melting pot of MSG laced flavorless bile served out by automatons in a plastic myopic cesspool. The innocence and joy has gone. Did we gerow up ro did they become shit(er)?
Lets face it they are all the same now. Go into any food-hall in the country and you will tick off the same food chains. Lets face it turn left at the wrong place and you may jump shopping centres.
Can i help you what do you want?
- A Japanese (with three flavors of Sushi and anything fried called Teryiaki) - CHECK
- A Juice shop staffed by annoying cap wearing tweens - CHECK
- McDonalds, Hungry Jacks or the Dirty Bird (KFC) - CHECK
- At least two Chinese shops - CHECK (Which leads me point out that peas and diced carrot with some rice is not a fried rice!)
Can i help you what do you want?
- A roast of the day shop - CHECK
- An ironically named Vegetarian shop (no, bacon isn't a vegetable) - CHECK
- the ubiquitous Indian - CHECK which leads to the inevitablE " Our food hall is good, we have a good Indian" Do you? Do you. No. ( Pat on the head poor deluded food-hall user) They are all shitty
Can i help you what do you want?
and don't start at me about food halls are good because of the choice. Choice! I am sure they are all cooking the same thing from the same vat of protoplasmic goop at the back.
and don't even mention the people serving with their glazed eyes and grease covered aprons
Can i help you what do you want?
NO YOU CAN'T HELP ME AS I AM ONLY CHUCKING MY FIFTH LAP OF THIS HELLHOLE TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING THAT WON'T SEE ME HUGGING A TOILET BOWL, B) TASTES VAGUELY LIKE IT CAME FROM THE NATURAL WORLD AND C) SOMETHING I HAVEN'T SEEN IN EVERY FOOD-HALL IN THE WORLD AND POSSIBLY YOU SHOULD GIVE ME AT LEAST 3 SECONDS TO LOOK AT YOUR MAGNIFICENT DISPLAY OF COMESTIBLES BEFORE ASSAULTING ME WITH YOUR MAILED IN ENTHUSIASM.
NO YOU CAN'T HELP ME AS I AM ONLY CHUCKING MY FIFTH LAP OF THIS HELLHOLE TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING THAT WON'T SEE ME HUGGING A TOILET BOWL, B) TASTES VAGUELY LIKE IT CAME FROM THE NATURAL WORLD AND C) SOMETHING I HAVEN'T SEEN IN EVERY FOOD-HALL IN THE WORLD AND POSSIBLY YOU SHOULD GIVE ME AT LEAST 3 SECONDS TO LOOK AT YOUR MAGNIFICENT DISPLAY OF COMESTIBLES BEFORE ASSAULTING ME WITH YOUR MAILED IN ENTHUSIASM.
(1) Possibly you don't because you weren't born and raised in a suburban wonderland like Seaview Heights, The Northern Beaches of Dullsville
3 comments:
very amusing. only 40 years too late.
"40 years? How so?" oh, Anonymous sage like commentator
Have you been in a food hall recently? Do you miss the days of Mozelle?
Or did your Google reader take 40 years to download this and you have returned in your time travel machine to heckle me?
I prefer home cooked meals myself, then you know for sure what's actually in the meal, so if you get sick it's your own stupid fault.
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