Open Offices

Guest Post by Grumpy Girrrl

Wow am I grumpy.

I’m grumpy because I don’t have my own office in my new job.

 Actually I’m grumpy about my new job in general, but I digress.

What I’m really grumpy about is the decline of office etiquette since I last had to mix with you unwashed masses in an open plan office.

I’ve spent years in my own little office, with tidy book shelves, a complete lack of personal paraphernalia  (save for some carefully selected high-end stationery products) and a secret bottle of spray and wipe for a good, thorough, weekly desk clean.

And now I find myself thrust into your noisy, dirty, uncivilised world. Well let me share a few choice thoughts with you.

  1. Speaker phone is Not. Ever. Ok. Keep your hold music and your inane conversations to yourself. I can’t even begin to fathom why you think your laziness at being able to pick up and hold a telephone receiver makes it ok to subject 20 other people to your conversation.

  1. Your ringtone is not cool and I don’t want to hear it. Even if I liked Lady Gaga, 15 second bursts of it across the day would not be my preferred way to enjoy her greatest hits. That’s why mobile phones have silent buttons. And in case you’re in anyway unsure, vibrate is not silent

  1. Tuna has no place in an open plan office. Nor other stinky food like re-heated mashed up leftovers from last night’s attempt at recreating Masterchef. Take it somewhere else so I can put my gag reflex away.

  1. Keep your family photos in your wallet, your kids craft on the home fridge and your mouldy mugs out of my line of sight. This is a place of business.

  1. And just because we’re forced to spend 8 hours a day in close proximity doesn’t mean I want to be your facebook friend. I don’t know you, yet I can hardly say no, so I’ll accept it and then put you on limited profile. Pointless.

End of rant. I’m off to spray and wipe.


Grumpy Girrrl

I work in a cave in the dark so this doesn't affect me. Captain Angry Ranty Pants

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