An Open Letter

Dear Australians

What is happening in America is equal parts amazing, exciting and scary.

The people who are not supported with a minimum wage, a fair healthcare system, a free education by their debt riddled government are amassing Boston tea party style to create change. Amazing. The conditions for the lower class, and the size of that class, In America is shocking. I am not in a position to speak to it at depth but I can say it is not Australia.

I do not deny we have people making too much and too many people in poverty. But we are not America.

Their government bailed out the banks when the GFC hit, ours gave the people money to spend to generate activity for our economy. A simplistic contrast? Yes but simply put we are not America

Lets take a look at our middle class lives of privilege and take a moment before we storm the streets. Because quite honestly there are many many other things in our society we should be massing to demand change for rather than mimicking the outrage and protest of another Country which we are not

Letter to little Jimmy AngryRantyPants

HI Jimmy

You may be surprised to get this letter seeing I am long since past and if you followed the instructions of my will, boiled into a vat of Beer.

Hi!

As I write this you don't exist but I thought I should take this time to say sorry. Sorry :) ( That's a smiley face we use to use these when we didn't have time to write longer nice things. Kind of awkward aren't they?)

You see we are in the middle of this thing called Climate Change. You don't have it as you'd call it Climate Changed. Anyhoo we noticed the environment isn't fairly happy with what we have done over the last 50 years (i know! 50 years not long but there ya go.) Things moved very fast when I was your age. I know they don't for you anymore, I guess that's what happens without resources.

Anyway, people didn't believe in Climate Change, for a lot of reasons but mostly because we believed in money more. Oh we loved money. None of us ever had enough and a few of us had the vast majority of it. We used this money to buy big houses that we could lock our responsibility to each other out of, and we drove ridiculous big cars which insulated us from caring and we bought things. Just things. We loved things.

There was a moment, not a unique moment, but a moment where our leaders decided to put a price on carbon ( basically a pollution tax) as a step towards moving away from contributing to climate change but we argued. It wasn't a big moment or a noticeable moment but it was a moment where the people with a lot of money protected their money and the rest of us were made scared by them and our leaders followed a "party line". They liked to make us scared then. About so many things, seemingly everything outside of our ridiculously big houses.

It was a moment which passed.

It's a shame. So I imagine you have many reasons to fear now although little doubt of what the future will hold as we sorted that for you. I hope you don't fear though. I hope you learned hope and generosity and love and fellowship because I find it hard to find it today

Sorry

Captain Angry Ranty Pants

First world problems

 Shibathewanderer said: Hungry! Tired and seem to be getting a cough #facepalm                                 

I'm not saying that the fact that you got wet to work isn't important or that your email in tray isn't full of worrying things or that the fact you may have to wait for five minutes for your Saturday brunch isn't a tragedy. 

I'm not saying that.

and yes i think $9 for a lunch from a food hall is too much to spend and that the fact you have to clean on the weekend is annoying and what! and your sports team will lose on the weekend. and, and ! you haven't had holidays in seven months!  That's a tragedy

That is a tragedy.

Like this

So its time for the Captain Angry Ranty Pants challenge. Pick an amount of money that you don't blink at having or not having be it $2 or $5 or $10. I picked $5

Then count your last 50 Twitter updates and every time you complain about a first world problem you donate that amount to your East African charity of choice. Or you can use UNICEF (Someone can keep me honest and count mine and comment and I will donate that amount.)

Or of course you don't have to it. 

Pretend its someone else problem, or thats it always happens so why should you donate now or that you don't have the money right now. Whatever you need to justify doing nothing. But know sometime over the weekend these facts will come back to you and it will pop into your head with the question "Just how much money did I waste this weekend on middle class nothings"

In addition to lack of food and water, malnourished children are even more susceptible to potential deadly diseases such as measles, malaria, diarrhoea and pneumonia. And with one of the lowest immunisation rates in the world, malaria and measles epidemics are expected when the rains come in October.UNICEF is urgently working to scale up measles vaccination to 2.5 million children in Somalia, as well as immunising children against polio, measles and worms in Kenya and Ethiopia. UNICEF is also expanding the provision of safe water and sanitation by drilling boreholes, trucking in water tankers and providing vouchers to be exchanged for waterMany of the 800,000 children who are currently displaced due to the drought and conflict are without family. These children are highly vulnerable to exploitation and abuse as campaigns to recruit children, including girls, into armed forces continue.

$10 vaccinates 50 children against measles.
$40 provides a months worth of special therapeutic food used to treat malnourished children.

Same Sex marriage

Seriously. Why not? Why can't there be same sex marriage? Give me one good reason? Go on!

Why can't two chaps who both like Mariah Carey be allowed to become a legal unit? Hmm? Anyone? Anyone?

Why shouldn't they be allowed to set a date, panic about who to invite, argue with their parents, save all their money, stress over picking a venue, worry over what to feed people, argue over the wedding invite, rewrite the invite list to include weird old Uncle Kevin, find out their venue is overbooked, wonder if they should have a grooms party, pick a menu, change the menu, chase the venue cause they never ring back, rewrite the invite list to exclude weird old Uncle Kevin, find a celebrant, write vows, chase up peoples addresses, spend a day of hell working out the wedding registry, argue over the wedding registry, rewrite the invite list to include weird old Uncle Kevin again,rewrite vows, wonder why your ring can't be a Flash ring, empty their bank accounts to pay the deposit on your 'cheap' venue, realize Uncle Kevin is dead, not be stressed, realize that even a small wedding with no fuss is actually a big fuss, be stressed, rewrite vows to exclude the lyrics of Bohemian Rhapsody, not be stressed, be stressed, realize you hadn't organized documenting the event at all, argue over the playlist and why its not appropriate to have a song called "Stab U" as the walk down the aisle music, panic, avoid hens and bucks party, get caught by bucks party, forget you haven't picked up your suit, wonder if there will be enough food, wonder if the wine will be nice, wonder if anyone will turn up, get married, dance, stop friends exposing themselves on wedding photographers camera, don't eat anything expect rubbery fish and chips wake up on the couch the morning after at 2am having a think

Why can't they be allowed to do all that?

ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHATSOEVER.

Here. Pictorial proof

 

http://electricsheepcomix.com/infogfx/sameSexMarriageChart.png

An Open letter

Dear Peter Garrett

I see buildings, clothing the sky, in paradise. Sydney, nights are warm and daytime telly is still a blue rinse dawn and Dad's so bad he lives in the pub, it's a underarms and football club. A flat chat Pine Gap, in every home a Big Mac, And no one goes outback, that's that (unless they are intervening to make things better?)

You take what you get, you get what you please?

Is it still better to die on your feet than to live on your knees?

Sometimes you've got to take the hardest line? Or is it now sometimes you take the easiest line?

Sometimes you've got to take the hardest line.

What changed?

Regards

Captain AR Pants Esq

Remembering Knut

Berlin's beloved polar bear Knut, who rose to stardom when he was hand-raised by zoo keepers after being rejected by his mother rejected at birth, died on Saturday, a zoo official said. 

 

This is sad news. Not just because i have been along time fan of Knut but also for it again highlighting the challenge of zoos.

I am a zoo advocate.

 

I don 't like the fact we have to have Zoos but I do like a well planned Zoo. A Zoo which is contributing to sustaining animal species and educating. It's just a fucker that we have to be sustaining animals due to all of our greed and selfishness.On every trip to any zoo the sadness of our collective greed always hits me.

I like Zoos which have a clear role in conservation. Zoos that educate and zoos which you can walk around and not see any animals because the big, and well planned, enclosures allow all of their animals a place to be alone and to simulate their wild existence. I don't like Zoos where people bang on the glass or get annoyed cause the monkeys are asleep. But that's more about the people than the Zoos. I hate, to the point of loathing, people who use animals purely as attractions and novelties

 

Knuts death has again shown there are animals that shouldn't be in zoos and polar bears pretty much top that list with their needs for a range to wander and desire for isolation.

Something about the fact that Knut was a cute commodity then a forgotten depressed adult also really hits me.

http://photoblog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/03/19/6302323-knut-the-polar-bear-dies-at-berlin-zoo

Cross walks button pushers

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

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 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

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 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

 who knew that if you kept pressing the crossing button the lights changed quicker

arsehats

Tis the season to be jolly

Bullshit

What is with this annual lie about festive good will? Its bullshit. In fact i will upgrade it to bullshite!

This myth that once a year 'we do unto others' and are full of "festive cheer' is a pile of smelly crap. Christmas is the most pressured, selfish season of the year. Okay, yes I will admit for about 48 hours from sometime on Christmas eve (possibly after the shops shut ) to Boxing Day people are genuinely nice to each other. Hoorah! And somewhat generous

But that's it

The time leading up to Christmas should be called the season to be selfish. People are pushy, pushing their way so they can all get out ahead of everyone else> People tick off lists of things they have to do 

"Thank god I've sent off my Christmas Cards

"I've got my presents wrapped"

"What am I going to get Weird Uncle Nutso?"

People. chill.

No one said you had to do Christmas and if you have chosen to be part of the festival then why not at least fucking smile.

An Open letter

Dear Oprah,

Hi!

Welcome to Australia (okay I have heard some whisperings that you've been here for a few days already but I've been busy)

I like you. I really do. I admire what you have done with your career and your integrity as a person. I particularly like your support of books and the fact you are no longer friends with Dr Phil but

and I am sorry there is a but

I am a little concerned about your trip here.

Not that you are coming. ( Welcome btw!) or that you are bringing a plane load of your viewers ( welcome to them as well, although to the one who said "I am getting an experience money can't buy" Thanks but you can. Its called tourism and traveling.

No, what worries me is that you are getting, and in return will broadcast, a very summarized version of Australia. Possibly this is what tourism is, but I know you. You're smart. People listen. maybe you could be a bit broader that "G'day from Down-under" while you sip your Mc cafe coffee (you know we don't do that don't you? Don't you.

So to be helpful I have included a few dot points which may help you understand Australia in a broader sense and not in a focused, generalized, commercialized (and paid for) way

• We don't all say Gday. In fact the only time I have said it, I was working in a Pizza Express restaurant in England trying to get more tips
• We aren't a country of the outback. We are actually a highly urbanized city nation. (Oh can you take your faux akubra off now please)
• It's not all about sport for us. We also have a vibrant (if not underfunded) cultural sector. Sydney Olympics? Great opening ceremony? The arts.
• Paul Hogan is no longer relevant and we call them prawns now ( Always have)
• We are not a classless society. We have those who earn a lot and spend it in a way so we know they have it, those who earn a bit but spend more than they have and those that have much and we don't provide good enough services for but donate a little at Chrissy to alleviate our guilt.
• Neighbors is a fictional show. 
• Ulurus quite magnificent isn't it? The way we have treated its owners isn't. Maybe ask some questions?
• Koalas are cute ( I am sure by now you would have held one. That's okay. people do) They are on the way to extinction.We are an island nation who has done a great job of screwing our unique bio diversity. Has anyone mentioned Cane Toads?
• We are a nation of immigrants. Did you know that there is an amazing Italian fishing port in Fremantle. WA? Or incredible Vietnamese Population in Cabramatta, NSW or Maltese in Melbourne. They are Australians too.  (Actually you may like to say this fact to our politicians. They forget)
• We have an incredible level of success in pursuits of science and innovation. People forget this. And our population is only about 22 million.
• Bondi isn't the best beach in Australia
• Toorak is Toorak. We are a widely diverse country so please don't feel that's a good cross section or that we are easily summarisable
• The only people who drink coffee at McCafe are the people who think Instant + coffee isn't an oxymoron. 

Anyhoo, a few points to broaden your experience. Have fun. Say good things. Maybe inspire a few people to come on over.

Oh, just so you know, Curtis Stones $10 recipes at Coles cost much more than $10. He's a nice guy though, just can't add up

Regards

Captain AR Pants esq

Change your avatar, change the world

Once again we are being implored by the masses of friends that we lurk with in the social networkplace to stand up for something by changing our picture.  An easy, simple change that will speak volumes and through our massed community change the world

Yipeee that will solve everything! I am sure my latest twitribbon is saving the whales as we speak

Now let me say I am behind this cause, in fact I am behind most causes as nothing makes me angrier than injustice. I am so annoyed about injustice that I am one bat flying though a window away from long johns and a sidekick

My problems isn't with the what, or the why or even the who, my issue is the what next?

My issue is that for many people, this throw away showing of support is as far as they go. They feel by loudly, and proudly, showing their support they have done what needs to be done.

My issue is with the people who say But at least we are doing something with the word that speaking loudest in this phrase being at least

My issues is that saying something should just be the start. Not just an easy way to tick off your guilt, and become part of a massed voice all of which are one picture change away from forgetting what they were talking about in the first place.

An Open Letter

Dear People who were sitting in front of me between LAX and Brisvegas

Thank you. It was so fun listening to your inspiring discourse on the merits of Ford vs Holden (although I am unsure how you compare a past president with a former actor but your ways are beyond me), your fun conversations about the building trade in Brisbane and special thanks for playing the entirety of Dire Straits seminal "Brothers in Arms at full volume through your mini speakers for all of us to enjoy as we greeted the dawn at 4:35am (EST)

How lucky we all were when you found each other seated so close together as we boarded, you with your shouted greetings and so witty repartee on the value of Tomato Sauce for an airplane breakfast and how joyous that the person next to the couple let the third one sit with them and of course whose the luckiest? Me! I was right behind you for every nuanced syllable of your twelve hours of chat and rhythmic chair reclinings.

Hurrah!

Who knew that the main thing wrong with America is that it doesn't have sausages? I knew it had some issues but never saw in such clarity this being the main problem. May I suggest you contact someone and tell them, maybe their head guy, Obama, he's like the leader, sort of like the coach of the Maroons to put it in a context you may understand.

That there is no DFO and hence their shopping is bad and never cheap. I was upset to think i had ripped off every shop I had been in and am contacting them asap (1) and paying them the difference. I feel so bad for ripping them off and obviously I don't have any taste

And good on you for taking as much as you can off the flight, isn't great to take all the tissues from the toilet and all that food with you. And hurrah for Bundy for breakfast, although not strictly breakfast if you haven't slept

and thanks for making the flight so fun with your calling peoples seats from the in flight phone. You funny funny funny japesters.

Thanks again and please send me all your travel details so i can make sure I can travel with you, maybe even for yourwhole ten days next time,as we all knowe clearly now your thoughts on why ten days overseas is more than enough

Yours in love and admiration

Captain AR Pants esq

PS Why wasn't I as wise as you when I was 18? sigh 

PPS arsehats







(1) That's 'as soon as possible' in an abbreviation..an abbreviation is when you shorten some words so you don't have to type as much

Akubra hats

There are only a select number of occasions where the wearing of an Akubra hat is permissible (1)

• You are a stockman, roustabout, work in a Rodeo, ride with the brumbies in the Great Dividing range, are a figure of Australian folklore and/ or are Bob Katter 
• You are in a national sporting team and some dickwad in government thought it was patriotic for all of you to wear it and hey lets stick an indigenous design around it to show we are still so very very sorry 
• You are a tourist, most probably of American ancestry, are dissapointed that you haven't seen any koalas yet despite not leaving a capital city and you have bought one to meld in (2) 
• You are Dick Smith or some other national celebrity who is so painfully Australian that it embarrasses everyone else who lives in the Australia of today (3)
• or you are a dickhead

It's that simple

Feel free to print out this guide so you don't get confused and wear one inappropriately



(1) Akubra hat can be interchanged with Dry-az-a-bone through our this guide
(2) You don't
(3) You know the one which doesn't have a chip on its shoulder

Diary from Dullsvile

Dear Perth

This is a latte

(although I do prefer mine in a glass)

This is NOT a latte

Perth, you don't deserve coffee you cashed up bogan fools if you insist on calling this milky abomination of weak burnt coffee bean lost in a  torrent of over scorched milk a latter. This is not a letter, it is a reason people despair. AND I DON'T NEED A HANDLE ON MY GLASS

And don't go telling me its a good place to raise kids, whats the point if you don't have good coffee to keep you going? No point. None at all. Google latte you fools before we decide to cut you adrift for reasons of crimes against society. We don't need your stinky mine money you bunch of daylight-saving fearing throwbacks to the Menzies era.

and if anyone ever says Hi I'm a Barista from Perth I  will kidney punch them then stomp on their squishy bits while laughing in a high pitched manner, sounding not unlike a frog being stepped on

PS Coffee that costs $4.50 is frankly inhuman and is most likely against some Geneva convention somewhere, I am ringing up Angelina Jolie and telling her and she will be coming over with her mutant looking children and old Beardy Mcfilmdude and will be doing something about you people. Yes. She will.

PPS We will talk on the ridiculous price of everything in Perth later, after I have a calming latte and a lie down

An open letter

It was one of the most profoundly disappointing moments of my life when I realised that the primary human motivator was selfishness.

That all of us, or the vast majority, only can see the here and now not the if and maybe. That the word community is a description of your street, your sporting team and your friends not a guiding belief for how to deal with people world wide. That generosity is a response to consumerism and event days and the occasional donation not a state of being.

What happened to the easy going country of fair go and mateship? Did it never exist? What happened to this land of migrants? Did we take turns closing the gates behind us? Doesn't being the lucky country imply that anyone could, or should share in that luck or are we running a fixed lottery here?

I understand that money in your pocket, your trip to work and your local servcies are all important but surely you can all look a bit bigger picture than that? Can you? How can it be that this country that has not known struggle, or conflict on its shores, this land of opportunity and wealth to the point of excess cannot look beyond its navel?

Is it time to look at what an Australian is and take away  our thoughts of us as a bush dwelling knockabout sort of people and face the reality we are a mean spirited group of city dwellers defending our little allotments of luxury

Is it your fault? Are Australians naturally selfish?

Is it your fault when your leaders play to you and your fears. When your leaders do not show us any leadership, any vision for moving forward rather placating your irrational fears. Is it chicken or the egg? Are we in a vicious circle of selfishness?

Should we blame all our leaders, be they political or cultural for at the end of the day only being interested in their own concerns? Or should we blame ourselves.

I don't know

Disappointed that I have to ask the question though

Snapshots of dipshits

Scene: A meeting. A table. Six professionals who form a team in a workplace are having their fortnightly meeting

A discussion about shopping is happening. It's not that interesting

Workmate: I'm not racist but I hate the....

Silence

As soon as the words i am not a racist but passes your lips then you have raised the flag, put on the t-shirt, learnt the team song and are marching to the beat of the racist drum roll. You may see yourself as okay because there only one type of people you like "Because they are pushy" but you are not.

It is not okay Never. Ever. Your snide categorization and generalization of a group of people is shortsighted, dimwitted and ultimately racist.

And there is no sliding scale to being a racist. You are either one or you are not.

Casual , off handed comments and people who are not racist but hate the... need to be challenged and confronted as it happens. Nearly 20 years ago when the above script was played out I said nothing, dumbstruck by the dumbfuck. I should have said something . I play it out in my head again and again with the right retort ranging from "wow you are really a dipshit" to a long expletive filled tirade. But I said nothing

This simple, almost throwaway racism,  is around us constantly. Be it comments like this, or nicknames for groups of people or generalizations about their behavior we make it allowable and acceptable to be this way. However small and throwaway it is, it should be confronted. In this case I said nothing. I should have. 

So should you.

Same sex marriages

Seriously. Why not? Why can't there be same sex marriage? Give me one good reason? Go on!

Why can't two chaps who both like Mariah Carey be allowed to become a legal unit? Hmm? Anyone? Anyone?

Why shouldn't they be allowed to set a date, panic about who to invite, argue with their parents, save all their money, stress over picking a venue, worry over what to feed people, argue over the wedding invite, rewrite the invite list to include weird old Uncle Kevin, find out their venue is overbooked, wonder if they should have a grooms party, pick a menu, change the menu, chase the venue cause they never ring back, rewrite the invite list to exclude weird old Uncle Kevin, find a celebrant, write vows, chase up peoples addresses, spend a day of hell working out the wedding registry, argue over the wedding registry, rewrite the invite list to include weird old Uncle Kevin again,rewrite vows, wonder why your ring can't be a Flash ring, empty their bank accounts to pay the deposit on your 'cheap' venue, realize Uncle Kevin is dead, not be stressed, realize that even a small wedding with no fuss is actually a big fuss, be stressed, rewrite vows to exclude the lyrics of Bohemian Rhapsody, not be stressed, be stressed, realize you hadn't organized documenting the event at all, argue over the playlist and why its not appropriate to have a song called "Stab U" as the walk down the aisle music, panic, avoid hens and bucks party, get caught by bucks party, forget you haven't picked up your suit, wonder if there will be enough food, wonder if the wine will be nice, wonder if anyone will turn up, get married, dance, stop friends exposing themselves on wedding photographers camera, don't eat anything expect rubbery fish and chips wake up on the couch the morning after at 2am having a think

Why can't they be allowed to do all that?

ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHATSOEVER.

Here. Pictorial proof

 

http://electricsheepcomix.com/infogfx/sameSexMarriageChart.png

Children

A guest post from Huge Jerk

I want to punch the world in the face until it makes sense

I have, for my entire life, and some time before that, had parents. Perfect parents? Perhaps not, but pretty damned good ones, definitely. I love my parents, and they love me (so far as I'm aware). This, some will say, again means that I have no authority to speak. These people will find any excuse as to why what I say should be ignored. Perhaps they are right, but what I am about to say is not new. When one person says something that goes against your opinion, perhaps they are a crank. If two people say it, the crank has a friend. But this has been said so many times, by so many people that you should start to think that there might actually be a point to it.

I'm not a violent person. The title of this post may scream otherwise, but truly I'm not. I don't actually want to punch anyone in the face, but I DO want the world to make sense. No, I don't think a collective world face punch, no matter how hard, would actually make that happen.

The world seems to have abandoned common sense. Who needs to think, when you can blame your deficiencies on the big bad internet, or it's older cousin, TV.

Time to get to the point here. Or one of them, at least. No-one can parent your children for you. It is not, and should not, be up to the government to ensure that your darling children don't have access to violent or racy material. If you want to protect your children, do it yourself. The tools are all there to make it easy for you.

For example, if a game is rated MA 15+, then you should not buy it for your seven year old. Period. It isn't suitable. You can't buy the game for your child because all their friends have it, and then get up in arms about it being violent. You get what you paid for. Lobbying to get game content changed to protect your child doesn't actually protect them. It just annoys everyone who can legitimately buy and play the game. Sure, there's no blood now, but your child is still shooting people. All you have done is given them a game where there are no real consequences. You are part of the problem.

When the Wii-zapper came out, I remember seeing posts and rants about how inappropriate it was for children to be given something which resembles a gun. Aside from the fact that similar toys have been on the market for years (can you say "duck hunt"?) these people were correct. It may not be appropriate for children, so don't buy it. The easiest way to protect your children from the evils of the world is to not expose them in the first place.

Which brings me to my next point.

If you dress your children up like skanks, give them dolls which are skanks, and let them watch TV shows or movies that are full of skanks, they will want to act like skanks.

Is that so hard to understand? Cause? Effect? Oh, no, children are having sex because of the paedophiles on the internet, not because you have dressed them like skanks. I may be old fashioned here, but when I was a kid, if something wasn't appropriate for me, I didn't get it. It didn't matter how many of my friends got it, I didn't. Why? Because my parents understood that they made my buying decisions. Sure, I could pitch in a suggestion (or whine a whole heap), but it was their money they were spending.

I did have access to some violent games, and some lewd movies. I'm admitting that right now, in the interest of fairness. They weren't hidden away from me, but at the same time, they weren't handed to me without my parents knowing what they were about. My parents didn't get up in arms later about it. They knew what I was getting into before I got into it. They let me access it when I was old enough to understand it.

I hope that I can parent my future kids even half as well as my parents did me. I'd like to think that I turned out well adjusted. I'm not a sexual deviant, or a rampaging psychopath. I'm actually pretty normal. And that brings me to my final point.

If you accept your children for what they are, then you're more likely to maintain a happy and healthy relationship with them.

It's not rocket science. Kids will be kids. When they grow up, they'll be adults. Don't treat kids as adults, or adults as kids, and it should all be OK.

Nothing new has been said here. I've got no authority to dispense parenting advice until I've had and raised my own kids. This is all common sense, though. I will be following this advice with my children, and hoping that it all works out fine.

Stop blaming other people for your laziness, and we can all get on about our lives. The government isn't there to be your nanny. Stop messing with everyone else's lives to make your own easier.

More angry outpourings from Huge Jerk here

Its true! Kids will be kids unless they are Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrpus or any of the Irwin children then they are obviously wind up toys. Captain Angry Ranty Pants

You shit me

Guest post by Grumpy Girrrl

This week I’ve been to a naturopath, a kinesiologist  and have consumed vast quantities of ayurvedic (1) calming tea. I felt all peaceful and floaty in the sea of chaos that surrounds me.

I thought I’d lost the will to rant.

And then, lady, yes you, you passed me. Coughing everywhere like your hands were better utilised hanging by your hips, than say, covering your mouth and keeping your goddam swine flu to yourself.

Well that’s hundreds of  non-health-fund-refundable-cos-you-deem-them-lunatic-fringe-treatments dollars down the drain. Sigh.

xoxo

Grumpy Girrrl 

(1) Named after that famous Viking raider Ayurvedic the Prolific, 342AD. Captain Angry Ranty Pants

You shit me

This is not using your mobile phone hands free.

This is just proving you are a dickhead.

Hooray for...Balmain!!!

Hooray for Balmain. It is indeed a wondrous place

Hooray for its tight windy streets and its happy go lucky inhabitants who love to fling their over sized motor vehicles around corner with no regards for polite turning etiquette.

Hooray for their over sized vehicles and the fact they balance their eco-savagery with health food shops and a can do green attitude

Hooray for the people who drive the length of the suburb to park in the free park then catch the bus thinking they are being eco-friendly

Hooray for their green attitude and the "help yourself if you are short ' coin jar on the shops counters

Hooray for never paying for a coffee again!

Hooray for their Green council who wants to put an electrical substation in every park in the suburb and promotes their achievements with printed pamphlets.

Hooray for their tradesman and their witty business names like "Get hammered, " Nailing it" and "Trading up"

Hooray for their redevelopment of every square feet of every house in every street.

Hooray for gentrification.

Hooray for a community that brings multiculturalism full circle

Hooray for Balmain